I have found the someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.
No other. No other.
I have never been so happy in all of my life.
ria.
my heart.my heart.my heart.
It screams.
‘love’.
I feel I am in a very sarcastic mood. Not too sarcastic, but enough to write this post. I am a happy person. That was not sarcastic at all. I really am. Heart and soul that is the truth. I know how to be a very unhappy person though. So. For your enjoyment I am going to share a list of 10 things that will make you the unhappiest person in the world. Sounds like fun right?
1.wake up every morning and always feel like the world is about to fall on top of you. Or at least envision your ceiling falling on your face.
2.make sure the milk in your fridge is always sour.
3.never sing or smile.
4.look at every other person in your world and think to yourself ‘they have it so much better than I do!’.
5.never acknowledge God. Ever. Seriously. Don’t do it.
6.don’t express any happiness for your friends and family.
7.be the center of your world.
8.have premarital sex.
9.curse a lot. Especially the ‘F’ word.
10.don’t enjoy life.
How many of these things are you doing? Are you living in the blessings that God has given you? This gift of life that He has offered you? Or are you just looking at life in the most mundane and awful way possible? Has joy become something you live in?or is it something you feel like you cannot grasp? I say, the joy of the Lord is my strength and no one can ever take that away from me. Because my strength? It isn’t a superficial plant that only comes up when the sun is out. It is rooted in my heart by a God called Love. Jesus is Love. I cannot express the abundance that Christ provides His children; and here, we live silly lives of nutella worship, day dreaming, and quoting quotes of dead men that had such spectacular lives that even the stars smiled for them. Where are the men that love orphan children and the women who find joy in simple things like growing plants and making soup?
Joy is near. Never far. Always here.
My challenge to you? Do not submit to the woes of daily life, but overcome with the joy of the Lord. With His strength. Because His strength is perfect. Never wanting.
Ria.
Nat and I are at Vero right now.
He was nice and ordered my coffee for me while I was in the ladies’ room.
Small soy dirty chai.
It is my favourite.
Freezing rain outside.
I want summer.
Very true.
I get my wisdom teeth pulled on thursday. I’m pretty nervous.
I am wearing my golden shoes. I decided I would wear my golden shoes when I get my wisdom pulled.
It is quite an ordeal getting your wisdom pulled out.
3 veils finished. 12 more to go I think. Then I can release the line.
Thinking about Africa this spring.
Trying to help Nathan with his algorithms .
He is super stubborn…but I am more stubborn.
Have the mind of Christ.
That is what I read this morning in Philippians. I was super blessed. Not just ‘blessed’, but super blessed.
Blessed God of the universe that makes beautiful women and freezing rain. He is so diverse.
I do miss summer though.
And iced tea.
Sometimes coffee is better than sweet tea though.
So that is okay.
Loves.
ria.
I am at the beach. On holiday. It is nice.
I miss my boy though. We have been apart for about 2 days. I am here with all the women of the family and their cousin Hakim. Although I do love to be with all of these amazing ladies, I much wish Nat was here. I miss him so.
He comes tonight. I am so excited.
I am in love.
Also, God is so good. I am so amazed by Him. By the skies. By the sea. By the light He creates. Beautiful God is He.
This year will bring love and joy. I have to decided to do everything that I’ve ever wanted to do this year. I shall work hard, have heart, and breath life to everyone the life that I posses. I am so happy.
Right now though, I am happiest that I get to see my man in a couple of hours.
joy.
Ria.
Some girls stay in highschool forever.
Even when they reach college. Even when they are married. Even when they have three children and one on the way.
Some girls stay in highschool forever.
Some boys stay young forever.
Even when they leave the cave of their parents. Even when they have a bank account. Even when they have a wife to care for.
Some boys stay young forever.
Growing up has never seemed so scary. Not in my entire life. Wishes of Peter Pan coming to get me lay at the entry way of my thoughts. I do not wish to go back to highschool. I’ve always had an old soul, but for some reason, this old soul has had second thoughts of truly growing up. Part of me just wants to stay a sentimental child opening Barbies underneath the christmas tree. A sentimental child. This year is sentimental.
This coming year will not be sentimental.
Well, parts of it are bound to be, but I’ve been having trouble with sentimentality. I think it might be killing me. Killing the spirit in me. Not good. So, instead of being like an Israelite, and dreaming of leaks and onions and water. God showed me that the other day. To not be Israel. He has showed me so much love. So much blessing. I have set in my heart to not look back and ask for water. God will give me water when He sees fit. When I need it. I will depend on Him. I have set my heart to seek His face.
I am not afraid.
In me is not a heart of fear.
Only a heart of love.
ria.
I am in calculus class.
This is fun.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I cannot believe I am going to be 22. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.
I feel like I am about to be an old woman.
My friend Natalie is getting married the day after my birthday. I cannot believe that she is getting married.
This morning I went to work and I was thinking about my toast I was going to write. I am a bridesmaid. This is the first time I have ever been part of a wedding party. I am honored. Anyway, I was thinking about my toast and I started choking up a bit while I was making scrambled eggs. So much joy has flooded my life because of Natalie and Jon. They have been two of the most influential people in my life. They have both displayed an undying love for their Saviour Jesus. They encourage me in my relationship with the King.
Eternal life.
It hit me today.
Even when I die, I’ll still go on living.
I’ll be with Jesus. Always. Forever. No more pain. No more dying.
Everything in life will be ok. Will be better. Life has had lots of turns these past few months. Turns that have been growing me and shaping my mind. I’ve been learning a lot about life. Good things. Hard things.
Remembering is good.
Now this sounds like rambling.
SO.
close.
.22
.wedding
.lovely friend
.calculus
.heaven
I am enjoying life.
ria.
This morning I was thinking about Esther.
Nat and I were talking about her name last night.
I was thinking what it would have been like. You know, if I had a shot at being Esther. I wonder what her relationship with the King was like….was she mearly an ornament to him, or did he love her? Did they talk with one another about life? or was that something that was forbidden? Was this Jewish girl really special to him?
Did he care?
The answers to these questions I cannot provide. Maybe a scholar could bring some input.
No one would be able to explain the emotional part of their relationship though.
I think this is beautiful.
I think it is beautiful how God gives two people(that belong together) something called ‘relationship’. It is special to have someone who wants to know me, and sometimes, I feel a bit like Esther. I feel very cherished. Very loved. Very everthing I’ve ever wanted.
This all to say.
Every relationship has more than one climax as it grows, and changes, and wears over the days, the months, and the years. Just as Esther had to endure the fear of being put to death, we will also take on struggles in life. Not exactly like Esther endured, for we do not have the fear of death by the hands of our lovers…only fear of not making it in this world of break-ups and divorce. We are scared that love will only last a little bit. Or that we will end up like the other women in the Kings harem. Unwanted and spotted with our past.
But we have forgiveness.
In Him who calls us His daughters.
We will never have a lover like Him.
All the kings and princes of the world could not feed your heart and soul like the King of Heaven can.
Esther knew that.
Do you know that?
♥,
ria.
I’m waiting for Nat right now.
I made pancakes, and we will spend about 30 min. enjoying them and then he will go home because he has a lot of work to do. I have to work in the morning…so an early bed time is what I want.
I am ok with this.
I am still learning to be okay with this.
I am happy. Really, I am. Lately, I’ve been having a hard time with time and such and work and much strife under the sun. God is helping me though. Helping me to understand. He is a very understanding God.
I feel as if the capacity of my heart cannot take anymore trial, but I am not afraid. I am learning to trust, yet again, the wonderful mysterious Being we call Yahweh. So it is ok.
Life is ok.
My life is ok.
And I am happy.
Nat’s figuring stuff out.
ria.
dear la,
thank you for hanging out with me after work. it’s the most amazing feeling to be studying hard all day and after finally understanding a key concept to have gorgeous you come walking through my door. glad we could giggle and sing. i am glad we can be friends. through the stress of life for two type B artists, i’m glad we can give each other a little grace.
you are sweet.
love,
nat
