I gave myself until 11:30 to write. Now I only have 6 minutes to finish this smallish blurb.
Read a bit of Bell today & God’s devotion book, whatever you want to call it.
Marriage counseling has been so inspiring. Nat & I are making a life together. This is really cool, and super surreal. That is probably the best word to describe right now, this moment, this year :


Just last year it feels like I was 6 years old playing ‘fairies’ and running away from the wind monster. I am getting married next month. Where did the time go? I cannot wrap my mind around..around this love…around my God…around life. Still life exists around me & bouncing sound waves hit buildings and faces and buses make noise and then..we all sit by the river. Bury me by a river. That is where I would like to be planted. I should be planning a wedding now though, not a funeral.

This week Nat has become more of my best friend. Sometimes I feel like we are still six years old and playing in the dirt. I don’t ever want to forget this feeling.






i made this for you, love. -nat

intensity of heart mind soul body spirit.


The realization came.
The couple in front of me, they are on a date. Both people want love. That is all we want. Love. Unselfish love.


Only comes from Jesus.


Where was my head all this time?



in love.

it is love when your darling brings you more flowers than you could have ever asked for.
and 1:30 in the morning is quite familiar.
engagement is
Holy Spirit



tonight i have been blessed beyond measure.
and i have only gained 1/16 tsp. of what i am bound for.

God is so good.

i love you.



in the middle of the sea.

sometimes i wish i could live in a song.

stargazing with the babes tonight,

tea in hand

display of His splendor.

my heart

His heart

for our hearts.




I am getting married in two months. I don’t know the exact number of days, because I don’t want to stress myself out. [;
Today we have our first marriage counselling session. I have to start Zumba, and get tables/chairs/other wedding things reserved. Why am I giving you my wedding list? Who knows. This is a crazy time. Nathan and I had our first movie date ever last night. We saw the Lorax. It made us laugh. Watching movies with Nat is fun. Totally worth $3.50.
And most of all.
Jesus is so good. He never ceases to amaze me. Scripture has been singing so kindly to my heart. Only Jesus. My heart is His.

Psalm 46.

‘God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the
earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into
the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its

There is a river whose streams make glad
the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her,she shall not be
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.


Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the
he burns the chariots with fire.

“Be still and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.


‘so be it’

so be it

and let me run with millions of horses, and
this thing that has begun.
let me win ruhbarb and joys of the sun

i was only just 4 years old 18 years ago

and if you counted my freckles, they would glow as

the number of scars in my heart
most of them fresh, most of them won

because in the end
the victories we win
they all start with a fight
with some gin.




free lens.

‘Millions of people have thought up millions of ideas that have helped millions of people, and still we are thinking up more ideas.’

Last night I went to bed feeling quite terrible. This morning I woke up inspired with a bunch of new ideas bouncing around in my head. So, I began to try to accomplish these ideas, still sick. Still a bit tired.
I got a new line hanging up in my room. This one holds dried floral bouquets that are dear to my heart, and veils that are waiting to be photographed. I also made two very large, very nice looking loaves of bread. Using my kitchen aid is quite fun, and I didn’t realize how much I missed cooking. Then I made Nat some lunch and drove over to meet him at school. On my drive though, I started to recognize my weary soul and I began to think that maybe I pushed myself over the edge, being sick and all. Nathan so sweetly ate lunch with me , and then walked me to my car, and THEN drove me to the bank so I could get my rent. He is forever the sweetest man. I love him.

I made it home, very wearily though.
Now I am thinking, how many times we do this in our spiritual life? Honestly, a lot of us are very weary. Not because God has used us too much, but because we give and give and give past our point, and we can’t really recognize what our ‘point’ is. Just like this morning, when I woke up with a bunch of cool new ideas, and then halfway through I thought, ‘o no’…we do this same thing with being a Christ follower. Millions of people have thought up millions of ideas that have helped millions of people, and still we are thinking up more ideas. When you are tired, don’t push yourself over the edge. Unless God is specifically telling you to be involved in this and that, take a break. A lot of times we force ourselves to ‘get involved’ when really, Jesus just wants to be involved in our lives. Spend some time cultivating your relationship with Him if you feel drained. He is the only One who is going to fill you up. Nothing you can do can make you better. Only Jesus.

My life is my ministry. It isn’t all the ideas I come up with an accomplish, it is the simple living and breathing do what God tells me to do. If I get to crazy, then I will eventually burn out. So, this is just a reminder to all of you. Your life is your ministry. How you live should reflect Jesus and glorify the Father, it shouldn’t burn you out. Maybe its time to rethink things if you get burned out a lot. Live a refreshing life.