sentimental child.

by alittlelove

Some girls stay in highschool forever.
Even when they reach college.  Even when they are married.  Even when they have three children and one on the way.
Some girls stay in highschool forever.

Some boys stay young forever.
Even when they leave the cave of their parents.  Even when they have a bank account.  Even when they have a wife to care for.
Some boys stay young forever.

Growing up has never seemed so scary.  Not in my entire life.  Wishes of Peter Pan coming to get me lay at the entry way of my thoughts.  I do not wish to go back to highschool.  I’ve always had an old soul, but for some reason, this old soul has had second thoughts of truly growing up.  Part of me just wants to stay a sentimental child opening Barbies underneath the christmas tree.  A sentimental child.  This year is sentimental.

This coming year will not be sentimental.
Well, parts of it are bound to be, but I’ve been having trouble with sentimentality.  I think it might be killing me.  Killing the spirit in me.  Not good.  So, instead of being like an Israelite, and dreaming of leaks and onions and water.  God showed me that the other day.  To not be Israel.  He has showed me so much love. So much blessing. I have set in my heart to not look back and ask for water. God will give me water when He sees fit. When I need it. I will depend on Him. I have set my heart to seek His face.

I am not afraid.
In me is not a heart of fear.
Only a heart of love.