this is for all the lonely people.
I feel as if I have a lot to write. A whole book full worth of things, but every time I sit down to write what has been on my heart, I seem to fail at it. I spend minutes every morning thinking about things, but still lack the heart to write them down. Maybe it is because it takes too long, or I have little patience, or maybe I just don’t feel like writing. Today I will write though. Right here. My head is sort of pounding from the lack of sleep I have encountered the past few days, but it is okay. The lack of sleep was worth it.
This morning loneliness crept into me after house church. The meeting was amazing, and God really spoke, and the worship was sweet. I still left wanting more though. Maybe it isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe wanting more of God is more of a good thing. Lately, the sun has been shining and the weather has been warm, but last night the rain lulled me to sleep. I woke up to grey thinking about heaven. What will it be like? Assuredly it would be bright and full of light, but really the only reason I want to go there is because Jesus is there. Even if it wasn’t very beautiful and there was never clean water to drink, I would still go. Jesus would be there.
My loneliness is not the result of my lack of a better half. Despite the fact that it is Valentine’s Day tomorrow.
It is a lack of really experiencing my God. No separation. No sin. No walls. Attached.
This is loneliness in its most righteous form.
That a daughter longs for her heavenly Father.