o my soul.

by alittlelove

Today has been hard.
Emotionally hard.
Spiritually hard.
Physically hard.

I worked sound this morning.  That was hard.  Had a minor freak out attack during the first service, because I had no idea what was going on with the iTunes and then they kept giving me hand signals that I had never seen before.  It all worked out okay in the end though.  The muddied mix was saved by the last 2 songs.  I was happy about that.

Rory preached about suffering and persecution.  He talked about 12 year old boys being burned for their faith in Sudan and people being crucified in Africa.  Punch to the heart that was.  By the end of the service I was weeping as I stood in the back behind the soundboard.  Sometimes when I stand in the back, and I can see all the people, I can sort of feel their pain.  It isn’t a nice feeling.  It is important though.  It is important for me to feel that.  Remembering the people helps me to keep my heart in check.  When I see their hurt, my life does not seem so important.

I’m getting a cold.

My face kills me.

I sat in my room for a while after I came home.  Most of the time was spent on my face, crying out to God for this person and that person and him and her.  Then I broke out into spontaneous song to my Yaweh.  ‘i love yous’ spilled from my mouth towards my beautiful God.  I am satisfied in my God.  O bless the LORD.  Bless the LORD o my soul.