in love with Him.

by alittlelove

My seester’s alarm went off this morning.  It woke me up…and although I didn’t mind having been woken up, I did mind the pit in my stomach that I had gone to sleep with.  It was still there from the night before.  I groaned.  This isn’t good.  My heart is a mess(i keep lying to myself about it though).  I sat up in my bed and gathered my hair back into a ponytail and took a deep breath.  I grabbed my Bible and journal and walked into the kitchen.  My phone beeped with text messages..I ignored it.  The power in the kitchen kept flicking off because of mamy’s blow dryer.
Distraction..distraction..distraction.  Then I started to pray.  I thanked God for my day.  I felt so far from a thankful heart..I couldn’t even concentrate.  “Gosh,  ria, just concentrate on one thing..”.

So that is what I did.

I prayed my heart out for 5 min.  Not really knowing what to pray or feeling like I could pray.
I think the LORD was pleased with that 5 min.  I want to give Him so much more than that though.  He is worthy of my everything, so why do I so often hold back?  Why do I find other things more attractive or more in need of my attention?  I so hate this part of me.  The part that has difficulty in concentration.  I adore my Jesus, so why can’t I adore spending time with Him?  With all my heart I want to be more in love with Him.  I confess to you, I haven’t loved Him enough lately.
And that,
breaks my heart.