by alittlelove

I’m sitting here in the library, and I have an empty chair next to me, I wonder if people think I’m crazy…I never did have an imaginary friend. (o;  This week has been wild…I’ve been learning a lot about forgiveness, and Jesus, and treating people with love.  I have to tell you this one thing that happened this week.  On Fridays we do a little Bible study at the nursing home, and this one lady came that doesn’t usually come.  Afterwards, I went up to her to tell her “thank you for coming” and  “it was so wonderful you could make it”…and she went on to tell me that she enjoyed it so much, and it brought tears to her eyes.  Then she told me that her husband had died recently.  That stopped me right in my tracks.  I could not imagine being that little old lady, trapped in that nursing home, with no one to love her like her husband had.  I couldn’t imagine the nights when she just layed on her bed remembering him, and now he was gone.  I just cannot wrap my mind around that.  She went on to say that he was in a better place, and she had so much joy in her voice!  This lady KNEW that her husband was in a better place “and soon she would see him”.  This lady had so much trust that the LORD was going to help her.  She had so much hope.  It made me smile.  Here I am worried(sometimes) about what is going to happen to me; and this lady, who is stuck in a nursing home without her husband is FULLY TRUSTING IN THE LORD.  That encouraged me and convicted me.  If Maxine is perfectly at peace, then why can’t I be?  There is a verse in the Psalms that has been running through my mind all week:

“And now, LORD, what wait I for? my hope is in thee.” (psalm 37:9)

O that my heart might sing this always.

Another thing that I learned from this little conversation, is how little I know about love.  What comes to mind is a quote from the movie “Dan in Real Life”.  Dan says it quite perfectly:

“love is not a feeling, it’s an ability.”

Hilarious I know, but so true.  We get wrapped up in feelings and things like that, but is it really real?  I know that I don’t understand the slightest thing about loving someone, but something that I saw in Maxine is that she had really loved and adored her husband.  She had this sweetness about her, that I think her husband was crazy about it.  I loved how she talked as if he was up there waiting for her.  And I don’t know if we are going to recognize one another after the resurrection, but if we are going to, I would like to see this reunion.  I think is would be a lovely one.  If ever there is one for me, I wish to love him like Maxine loved her husband.  I think it is the most adorable thing when one is old, and still in love.  That is what I want to be…still in love no matter how old we become.  I think it is the sweetest thing ever.

Another thing that I have been learning over the past few months…cooking is the answer to almost everything.  I don’t know how many times I have felt down or unhappy, that I have put on an apron and made something, and I felt so much betterI. love. to. cook.  I think I always will.  (o:  It makes people happy, which makes me happy.  I think baking is a world of possibilities.  Everyone should learn how to make a pie..that is what I have been practicing lately..making pies..I adore pie(if I am allowed to use that word).  I hope I will always have a little flour and a little oil(and some wine) to share with someone else who needs it. 

The library man took my chair.  I guess my little *imaginary* friend has left(o;