my heart.

by alittlelove

Every week we all learn something.  Though it may be an entire revelation or enlightenment, or something small like learning how to steep tea correctly, we all learn something.  I feel like my heart is about to explode. right. now.  So much has been turning in my mind and in my heart the past few weeks, and I can plainly say that God is so good.  All His ways are good.  I am completely convinced of His aweful power.  I know that my redeemer lives, and I want to live my life all for Him.  This week I learned that selfishness is so wrong, and it is no way in the will of the LORD.  This is something I have constantly been learning.  I know it is something that Jehovah is rooting out of me, and I want it gone so much, but then my flesh cries out screaching “wait, wait, I can stay…I won’t get in the way anymore!  just please let me stay!”.  It has taken a while to knock it into my head, but I believe the LORD spoke to me today.  “Walk in the Spirit”.  It is that simple.  (o:  That truth in Galatians 5, the one I had memorized before coming to the program, rung true and clear in my mind and heart this morning.  I knew I was supposed to walk in the Spirit…but was I doing it all the time?  No. and I am quite ashamed to say it.  I am ashamed because of all the times I could have heard the voice of the LORD, I was listening to the flesh.  I was listening to my dead flesh.  My dead flesh that stunk and was covered in maggots and disease..that flesh that was nailed to the Cross, I was feeding it with self.  I smile now though, because I have learned that I need not fulfill the lusts of the flesh if I am walking in the Spirit.  So today, today is the day, that I will walk in the Spirit.  O how much the soul sings when freedom is found.  My flesh is dead, and the Spirit is alive…so.very. alive.

…………………………….

This week I also….

made chocolate cake. cried.wrote out a new piano melody.smiled unhypocritically. bought pumpkin seeds. helped fix a flat tire at 10:00 p.m. wished much. had faith much. and died to self much. wanted. lost. gained everything that i will ever need. poetry. rode my bike. and loved{alot}.

now…I think I will go ride to that little tea shop downtown.  The world spins so madly madly around. 

-ria

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