little house on {peace and Rock.}

I’m home right now…It’s so good to be home, even for this little while.  I’m sitting in the same chair that I am so used to sitting in while blogging, thinking about my darling family.  God is so good.

This week I’ve been learning about faith….My faith has been constantly challenged this week.  I really have not been challenged as much as I have this week.  It’s been hard, but good.  I just really want to please my Jesus.  Sometimes we have to give up what we think we love, in order to love Him even more.  I’ve come to the understanding that I need to let go of everything that *I* want in order to complete the Father’s will.

We went on the street again this week(we go every Tue.), but it was different.  Our little group drove up to the circle, and I saw the group, and this huge fear swept over me.  This was a NEW group of kids, that we had never talked to before, and I was afraid of them.  They looked scary, and I felt so little at the moment.  I, in no way wanted to get out of the car.  We prayed though, and I believe it was only by the Spirit that I was able to step out of that car.  God gave me [peace].  So, we walked up to the group, and Sam quite bluntly and bravely stated that he was a christian and we were there to talk to them about God(or something along those lines..).   And here I was completely afraid with nothing to say.  So I began to pray and ask God what He wanted me to share with them( only partially expecting an answer), and a verse popped into my head.  It was in John 8:12:

¹²Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

I fought with the LORD for about 3 min. before I opened my mouth.  The LORD gave me quite an assurance about it though, so I proceeded to share the verse with them, and a little bit of my own testimony.  They laughed, and thought what I was doing was funny…I stumbled over words and, I’m sure to them, I looked like a fool.  But God uses fools doesn’t he?  That was it…now the Holy Spirit has to work.  I’ve seen God move and turn hearts, and I doubt not that He can change even the hardest of them.  Our God is mighty to save.  He alone is mighty to save.

All this said, the LORD has been encouraging me to speak even when my flesh is crying out “no.  I just can’t do it”.  My desire to please Him should be more than the strength of my flesh.

It’s been a wonderful night.  I am happy to serve such a marvelous God.  O how I love him with all my heart.

(my brother is so very sweet…i love his hugs).

much love…

lala

little green dress…hmm.

This morning I sat in class, and something sundenly clicked. I sat there thinking about what it would be like if I were to go anywhere and work as a missionary..but something struck me..we so much tend to live our lives for ourselves. We are wrong in doing this. I realized this morning, that whatever I end up doing, I am going to do it for the glory of God. We all know this, but how many of us are in actuality living it out? How many of us our using every part of our day for the glory of the Father? How many of us start our day by declaring to the Father that today is “His” day? As I was mulling over this in my head, I knew in my heart that I was guilty of being “self” centered instead of “Christ” centered. In that one moment that I was thinking about how selfish I was, I began to detest what I am. If Christ is not in me, then I am nothing…if I am not living for Him, then this life is nothing. I have realized today that I want to serve the LORD with my ENTIRE life. Not just in part, but the whole. I don’t want to be a “2 month” missionary, or even a “5 year” missionary. My desire is to live every single day as a missionary for Jehovah. It’s a beautiful thing when something becomes clear to you, and today that has been just the case(o: I don’t have the time to elaborate, but God is so lovely…I can truly say that all I want is Him. Him in me…oh what a beautiful mystery that is.
—-
haha….so today, I wore a green dress…then I was informed that it is St.Patty’s day…
just. smile. (o:
-lala

glorious love…

I’m smiling..

right now..

I’m smiling…

..for more than one reason.  One in particular though is that the LORD has been so real to me today.  Isn’t it a beautiful thing when the He shows you something that you thought you knew, but really you didn’t know at all?  It’s been like that for me today.  While I was walking to class thing morning He made the verse:  ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life, no man cometh to the Father but by me…” (I’m paraphrasing here..) I’ve always thought that it was referring to our access to heaven, but something suddenly clicked in my mind…Jesus is the only way for us to have ANY access to the Father.  Without Jesus there is NO WAY for us to even know the Father…no way at all.  Jesus is the only way period.  Which makes me so hilariously happy!  I was jumping out of my skin on the way to class this morning…I love it when God shows me things that are so simple, yet so completely profound.  It was like He gave me a piece of Him.  (o:  God is so much more than I can wrap my mind around.  This training has really opened my eyes to see to how glorious Jehovah is.  I had no idea..until you give your whole life away(which I am currently in the process of doing) to Him.  What glorious love He has for His children.  I get shivers up my spine everytime I think about His love.  He is my light..

well, I have to go play in Costco a while..maybe I’ll land a piano concert(o;

much love….  alex♥